Personal Accounts

Bald is Sexy: it is not what you got, it is how you use it

I admit it, I love bald men, and I am not alone.  There is something about the smooth, curved surface that is so appealing, very tactic, very viril.  And while men going bald seem to feel that it signals a loss of youth and sex appeal, the growing number of men shaving their heads are leading the way to new style trends.

Men losing their hair are worrying for nothing.  According to Gersh Kuntzman, author of Hair! Mankind's Historic Quest to End Baldness, 70 per cent of women found bald men attractive. Kuntzman says, " Two-thirds of women said that a bald man and a man with hair are equally attractive. 

However, it is not the lack of hair, it is the attitude.  If you are confident and sure of yourself, then it is sexy."  And many women do find bald men sexy. In fact, every week, dozens of women nominate their favorite Bald Guy of the Week at www.baldguyz.com.

Well break out your razors and #2 blades on your clippers, gentlemen.   Bald hotties such as Michael Jordan and Bruce Willis, are making us women swoon.  Comb-overs and bad hairpieces are so wrong as it signals that you are uncomfortable with your looks. Hair transplants and hair restoration drugs are OK, but we tend to prefer uys who don't fuss so much about their hair. Or lack of it. 

My ex had a full head of hair and he spent an enormous time on his hair and on hair products. There was a halo on the bathroom door from where the hair spray went, and let's say his aim wasn't that great as he primped in the mirror in front of the toilet.  Needless to say, we got him his own bathroom and I hired a cleaning lady.

Excerpts courtesy of Dating expert Lisa Daily who is the author the bestselling dating book Stop Getting Dumped!

Oestradiol: The Sexy Hormone in Women

Another interesting study which verifies what we already know.  Some women have that extra sex appeal and some are better off being single since they are always looking out for a better specimen.  So guys, watch it out there, if she is too hot, you could quite easily find yourself traded in for another model!  Hmm, now where can I find some Oestradiol to top me up?

 

PARIS (AFP) - Women with high levels of a key sex hormone are judged more attractive by themselves and others, and may be more inclined to cheat on their partners, according to a study published Wednesday.

University of Texas psychologists Kristina Durante and Norman Li found that women with high concentrations of the hormone oestradiol were likelier to flirt, kiss and have a serious affair outside an established relationship. 

In a study published in the British journal Biology Letters, the duo described the behaviour as "opportunistic serial monogamy" and not related to one-night stands. Instead, they suggested, such women were more probably being prompted to trade up in their relationships -- to find a better partner.

Other studies of oestradiol have shown that higher levels of the hormone are closely linked to enhanced fertility among women. As a result, say some researchers, men have an evolved response that prompts them to pick up on telltale signs of the hormone's presence. High concentrations of oestradiol are associated with big breasts, facial attractiveness and low waist-to-hip ratio, with the result that men solicit such women.

Durante and Li measured hormone levels at two different stages of the menstrual cycle among 52 women aged 17 to 30 who were not taking the pill. The women were asked to rate their own attractiveness and sexiness "compared to other women," their satisfaction with current partners, their willingness to engage in uncommitted sex and about their past relationships.

Separately, a panel of men and women unaware of the experiments evaluated photos of the women, rating them for attractiveness.  The women with the highest levels of oestradiol scored the highest across the board, and reported a greater likelihood of having a serious affair.  They also reported a greater number of long-term relationships in the past.  The study says that oestradiol-related attractiveness provides opportunities in the sexual hunting ground.

Men are keen to find a sexier woman and women want to find a partner who is a better provider and looker."Women have to trade off between having a long-term mate who provides continual material resources, and more physically attractive, short-term sexual partners with good genetic resources," write Durante and Li.

Women with higher oestradiol levels "may have fewer reasons to be committed to any particular partner if higher quality potential mates are available," they concluded.

The Bachelorette 3 gets Real

Jane Doe

I have never been a fan of the Bachelor or the Bachelorette series, primarily because it promotes the fairy tale image of beautiful people meeting and falling instantly in love, getting married in a princess wedding and living happily ever after.  What is billed as a "reality" series actually unfolds as one of the many childhood Barbie and Ken play dates we had so many years ago.   So far I think that only the Trista and Ryan coupling has survived (although the jury is out on that one that it will last), so the casting agents should be quite happy with the results.  But the point of the show is not "happily ever after", although a live wedding was the icing on the cake.  What America seems obsessed with is the fantasy of infatuation and romantic love and will endure weeks of watching strangers date, face rejection, ending with a marriage proposal.  This time however, as the three hour finale demonstrated, Jen disappointed the fans, but sure made a great statement for the lives of single women, finally bringing reality into the picture.

Just like in real life, she had been burned before and thankfully had learned her lesson.  I am a little jaded when it comes to really beautiful people, since they tend to have a distorted sense of how life should treat them, but this blonde actually seemed to get it--infatuaion and romantic love are not sound reasons to make life long decisions, a lesson learned by Thomas Hayden Church's character in the new movie Sideways, and frequently pointed out in Dr. Phil's arm chair counseling sessions.   When you consider the amount of time she actually spent with these men, I would also politely say, thanks for all the free stuff, but this is really not what I am looking for.

When it comes down to it, there is no need to rush into marriage and you are doing a service to yourself and a prospective partner to make sure you don't enter into this contractual obligation lightly.  What the show does demonstrate, though, is how much fun us single women can have out there in the real world in our search for companionship.

On V-Day, Don't Spend to Show Your Love

What do you plan to talk about when you and your sweetheart get together to celebrate Valentine's Day?

Better not be money, according to a recent survey by Quicken which found that the biggest strain on a relationship is managing finances (40 percent), followed by compatibility issues (27 percent).

Now when it comes to money, much of it flows right out of couples' wallets on Valentine's Day. The average consumer will spend just under $100 for Valentine's Day this year, according to the National Retail Federation.  In all, 2005 Valentine's Day spending is expected to reach $13.19 billion (that's a lot of chocolate and teddy bears!).

We all know it's true that money can't buy you love, so why, for heaven's sake, do we rush out and spend like crazy to show our love? This is especially true for men, who plan to spend on average $80.63 on Valentine's Day, compared with the $38.66 on average that women said they would spend. 

I feel sorry for guys. Advertisements featuring red hearts and cupids strike fear in their hearts this time of year.  Buy the wrong thing or -- worse -- buy nothing at all and they risk the wrath of their wives or girlfriends. What a shame that our demands on our husbands and boyfriends to show their love with material things allow retailers to manipulate them. It's not true that diamonds are a girl's best friend.  Spend time with the girl, man, not money.

What to Eat Before A Date

While not yet recognized as a major powerhouse in the online-dating game, Lavalife has developed a loyal following for us winter bound Cannucks who like to party.  Spawned from its live phone dating service, Lavalife is definately not a site for those looking for marriage, but if you are young, like to meet people to the point of hyper-dating, you should check out the site.  The also give the niftiest dating advice.  Who knew that pumpkin soup quiets the little self-doubter in you?

by Kelly Jones

There's nothing worse than feeling icky when you're supposed to be heading out on the town with that guy or girl who might just be The One. You want to make a good impression, pull out the sass, and show your funkiest side.

Thankfully something can be done for that bummer of a mood. (Yes, this miracle solution is legal.) Although still in its infancy, research has shown that certain foods can make a difference in how you feel about yourself and the people you connect with. Beware, however, not all foods can lead to emotional bliss. It's equally important to avoid foods that can bring you down or zap your drive.

Mom Was Right
Everybody knows it's important to start the day with a wholesome breakfast and eat at regular intervals to stay healthy and maintain energy levels (avoiding wonky highs and bummer lows).

You might also know about serotonin, the body's natural feel-good hormone responsible for mood, sleep, inhibition, and appetite. It turns out that avocados, bananas, brown rice, cottage cheese, soy protein, tomatoes, turkey (highest level), and walnuts all boost serotonin levels.

Feeling Bushed
I wish I felt like that guy in the Viagra commercial. I'm never going to make it through the date feeling like this.

Grab some protein! Even that backup can of tuna will do if you don't have access to the fresh stuff. Beans, chicken, cottage cheese, egg whites, lean beef, nuts, soy products, and yogurt also all have kick. Apples (containing boron) and lentils (high in iron) can help keep you alert too. And then there's the great advice we rarely sufficiently practice: drink lots of liquids. Equally important for keeping sprightly is avoiding high-fat foods, which take longer to digest and draw blood away from your brain (i.e., giving you the spacies).

Stressed Out
What's a lunch break? I forget. I think my shoulders are touching my ears.

Next time you're stressed, consider indulging in fish, like mackerel, trout, and tuna. Certain fruits and vegetables work too. Try blueberries, cherries, strawberries, grapes, alfalfa, cauliflower, celery, green leafy vegetables, shitake mushrooms, and tomatoes. And wash that all down with some de-stressing liquids, like water or a steamy cup of tea (green, lemon, chamomile, ginger, peppermint, and rose hip).

Anxious
What to wear? I'm late! Where's my taxi?

Ain't anxiety great? Frustratingly, most researchers suggest staying away from alcohol, cakes, chocolates, coffees, and ice cream. Grrr. What's left? Try sticking with the calming carbs, like corn, dried apricots and cherries, rice, sweet potatoes, whole grains, whole-wheat pasta, and yams.

Dwindling Self-Esteem
I wonder why they aren't calling back? Maybe I shouldn't have told them about my third nipple.

Turns out that pumpkin soup can help give you the emotional boost to override that drooping confidence. Also enjoy beans, corn, small amounts of plain popcorn or sweet potatoes, squash, and whole-wheat grains.

Pissed Off
I can't believe they never called back! Maybe I should start a nasty rumor.

A safer bet might be to reach for a grapefruit. High in pectin, grapefruits seem to reverse the effects that anger has on the body. And salmon has shown to help alleviate crankiness. Although tempting, stay away from sugary foods when you're feeling peeved.

Blame it on science
And then there's chocolate. Oh so good. Biology made you do it, really.

Cocoa acts like an antidepressant by stimulating the central nervous system, heightening and arousing mood. Sounds dirty. Of course, too much and the whole thing falls apart.

Final Word
Although there's no guarantee that eating a can of tuna before going out will keep you awake until the after-hours party shuts down, it's nice to know that you have a partial say in how you feel about yourself, and, in turn, about the people you connect with. So next time you're in the mood for food, think food for mood.

Diet Tips for Getting yourself into the Right Frame of Mind before Your Dates.

The L Word has Entered the Room

Andrea Orr's book on online dating and relationships is a great book on dating and relationships. Unlike other authors of dating books, Andrea has been a writer for Reuters for a number of years covering internet trends. While slow to pick up on the online trend that emerged in 1999, she has revealed a talent for straight talk. As an objective bystander, she provides a common sense point of view on not only online dating and general relationship issues. A sample...

The L-Word
by Andrea Orr

Sometimes it just slips out. And anyway, someone has to be the first one to say “I love you.” Oh, but the horror of saying it and not getting a response! How is one to handle that situation?

“You laugh and say you were only joking,” suggested one woman I asked. She really was not joking when she offered that juvenile but somewhat appealing piece of advice. She understood that in the scheme of all disastrous relationship moments, the unrequited “I love you” was among the worst, capable of sending even the most together, confident person, crawling under the bed.

Unfortunately, once you’ve said it, you really can’t go into a defensive tailspin. At least you shouldn’t.

Just for a moment, consider the best-case scenario. The one you love really loves you but was too surprised, touched or tongue-tied to respond right away. It may sound improbable that they’d have hard a time returning the L word after you’ve just laid yourself on the line, but some people need to think these things through. If you take back your own words too quickly, you make a bad situation worse. Maybe those three words were just temporarily stuck in your partner’s throat. Now they’re never coming out.

There are some less-than-ideal scenarios to consider too, like the possibility that you’re in love with someone who doesn’t love you back. Ouch.

The hard truth is that no matter how much fun you’re having together, saying “I love you,” is a relationship-defining moment, after which things between the two of you have forever changed. It’s sort of like saying, “I think we should see other people” and secretly hoping your girlfriend insists that she’s committed to you and you alone. She may surprise you and say, “I think that’s a great idea,” and next thing you know she has a new boyfriend when all you really wanted was a little reassurance.

Once you say “I love you,” you can’t go back to saying, “I like you a lot.” If you’ve ever been on the other side of this painfully awkward exchange, you know that’s true. In an informal survey of people who received the L word from someone they didn’t love, I collected this lame list of responses they came up with:
“I know you do.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m so glad.”
“I love your body.”

Yet everybody agreed on one point. They were skating on thin ice and only had about a week or so to come up with an “I love you, too,” or be single again. It wasn’t that the person who loved them gave them an ultimatum. Sometimes they made an effort to carry on as a couple who were happily “in like.” But once you rock the boat, you can’t expect to have calm seas. They both knew that there was a serious talk coming.

Perhaps the only thing worse than loving someone who doesn’t love you is being in a relationship with that person. Of course, it will never work. So, if you say, “I love you” and he says, “I love the way the moonlight is reflecting on your hair,” there’s not much you can do except give it time. But not too much time. Say, a week. Two weeks, if you’re dealing with an exceedingly guarded person, or one of those ultra-thoughtful “need to be sure” types.

The next couple of times you see each other, you have a choice. You can remain silent and wait for the other person to bring it up. Or, you can bring it to a head, either by saying, “I love you” again, or by sitting down and initiating the “where-is-this-going” talk. Then you just sit back and let things unfold. The bad news is you can’t make anyone else love you. But there really is some good news, too.

Didn’t someone once say, “’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?” Be happy that you have love to give and that you have the courage to express it. Didn’t someone once say we should love without expecting anything in return?

Even if you can’t achieve the wise outlook of a poet or the detachment of a Buddhist monk, you ought to be happy that you expressed yourself. It would have been a lot worse to have to carry on, waiting for the other person to bring up the topic of love, only to have things fester and fall apart in a well of bitterness and misunderstandings, without you ever knowing if you were loved.

Really, that would have been worse. If you can’t see that now, from your vantage point underneath the bed, some day you will—the next time you fall in love.

LINK TO THE BOOK
Meeting, Mating, and Cheating: Sex,...

LOOKING FOR LOVE? TRY ONLINE
Try Using CONNECT Criteria to Select an Online Dating Site

SOME SITES TO CHECK OUT
American Singles
Date.ca
Date.com
eharmony
Lavalife
Match.com
MatchMaker

Tickle.com

True.com

20 Hot Halloween pick-up lines

Some dating advice for the guys from our friends at Match.com

Alan Goldsher, Match.com

You're at a Halloween party. You're standing in the kitchen all by your lonesome because, for whatever reason, you've decided to go stag. You peek around the corner and glace around the room. You see ghosts and goblins, witches and fairies, Batgirls and Supergirls. But — most importantly for a stag-goer such as yourself — you see a dozen, no, several dozen attractive women. You're in the holiday spirit, so you decide it might be a good night to bust a move.
Coupla problems, though:

Problem #1: You're dressed as Richard Nixon. This is not, by any means, an insurmountable predicament — you can just rip off your rubber Tricky Dick mask and show your true face to the world.

Problem #2: You can't come up with a good opening gambit. It's understandable why it might be more difficult than usual to approach somebody in these circumstances; after all, busting that move with a French maid, or a Miss America contestant, or a woman clad in a skin tight cat suit can be disconcerting to say the least.

But we're here to help. Here are 20 salvos that will hopefully open up those October 31st lines of communication:

1. (If she's dressed as a witch) Is that broomstick built for two?

2. (If you're dressed as Dracula) I hope nobody puts a stake in my heart — especially since my heart now belongs to you. (Note: Please, for the love of Bram Stoker, do not say, "I want to suck your blood.")

3. I don't know what's sweeter: This enormous chocolate bar, or your enormous smile.

4. I have a few cool tricks that are total treats.

5. (If you're dressed as Frankenstein) Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

6. I love those miniature jawbreakers. Wanna make out?

7. (If she's dressed as a ghost) Howzabout we take that bed sheet of yours back to my place and put it to its proper use.

8. Can I bob for your apple?

9. (If she's dressed as Little Red Riding Hood) If you give me a taste of what's in your picnic basket, I'll protect you from the Big Bad Wolf.

10. D'ya wanna do the monster mash?

11. (If you're dressed as the Wolfman) You can't imagine what else happens to me during a full moon…

12. I love gumdrops. Wanna make out?

13. I just saw "Halloween X" and you are way hotter than Jamie Lee Curtis.

14. Can I offer you a Hershey's kiss?

15. (If she's dressed as a hula dancer) As it so happens, I know just where I can get you a nice lei.

16. I noticed you've been eating a lot of candy tonight. Would you like me to check you for cavities?

17. Feel free to cuddle up next to me if you get scared when they start telling ghost stories.

18. (If you're dressed as Austin Powers) Do I make you horny, baby? (Yeah, that's totally obvious, but sometimes obviousness isn't necessarily a bad thing.)

19. I love candy corn. Wanna make out?

20. Trick or treat. Feel the beat. Give me something good to eat.

LINKS TO MENTIONED SITES
Match.com

Unrequited Love, the Maybe and Other Mind Benders

Jane Doe
While I really enjoyed the book, the premise behind He's Just Not That Into You follows the argument "Busy is another word for Asshole. Asshole is another word for the guy you are dating." However, life isn't so clear cut, there is always the real possibility that the reason a guy isn't more interested is that he is concerned about the rejection he may face. So you might be picking up vibes from him that make you think maybe he is interested and may you are interested, too (as long as he is interested). The problem though, is that it may be a long time before you will ever know for sure. Yes, the same drama you experienced in high school, but who would have guessed it could drag on for years?

I had dinner recently with a male friend who confessed having feelings for one of the girls who was joining the evening festivities that night. He has had lingering feelings for the girl for almost a decade. As most of these stories go, they briefly dated, they were friends, and the connection between them never really gelled. She drifts in and out of his life when she needs the support that their friendship will provide. Or is she making herself available to him, hoping he will make the move?
As these stories typically go, time passes, and the emotional attachment grows so that it becomes more difficult to confess romantic feelings.

I have been on both sides of the equation and know the best advice is to just dive in, make your move and be prepared for the consequences.

You Love Me? When Did that Happen?
Women do have keen "spidey sense", but sometimes we mis read signals. Kindness, and helpfulness by male friends are interpreted as nothing more than acts of kindness. We do have platonic friends and in spite of what Harry proclaims in When Harry Met Sally, not all men want to sleep with you (were life that easy!). I was celebrating my birthday with friends a few years ago when one of my male friends, who had consumed enough alcohol to give him courage to confess, announced in front of everyone that he loved me. I was shocked but thinking back did put the little pieces together. It reminded me of a situation in college when I liked a boy, and he didn't know it, while another pined for me. Those crushes fade away as people move on to their careers and move thousands of miles away. The "out of site out of mind" cure for throbbing loins of youth. No wonder I found Dawson Creek so charming. Teen Angst, nothing like it.

How Could You Possibly Not Know that I Love You?
I still remember how strong my feelings were for the boy in college whom I had met on a concert bus to travel to see Genesis. Little did I know the boy was actually on staff at the University, I went to school with his younger brother. The little spark didn't reallly seem to take and I had spent a year trying to get the courage to confess my feelings. He finally called me on it, I confessed, and he turned me down. Sure enough, he came back after summer break, and announced that he loved me to. Funny, I had dealt with the rejection, and made a decision to move on, so by the time he was ready for me, I was already dating someone else. I moved away a year later, but Ross on Friends, was able to see the object of his love for years, and not have the opportunity to make a move.

The Maybe
Sometimes you have great vibes about another person, but just not sure if they are interested in you, too. Are you great friends or potential lovers? I spent three years trying to figure that out with a great friend of mine. I enjoyed the friendship, and although I really wasn't attracted to him, there was something about his soul--for lack of another term--that was very appealing. He avoided talking about it, but eventually it came out: he was clear he didn't want to date me, I was annoyed at him for a couple of months for not having the balls to just admit it a lot earlier... and we went on with our lives. And yes, you can recover the friendship.

So What is the Answer ?
Confess, confess, confess. If you are a man, make your move. Women expect that, and unless you behave other than a "friend", you will be labelled as a "friend". Save yourself years of grief and just get it over with. Because of my recent experience with my Maybe, I am perhaps a little more zealous in pressing the issue. And since I have been involved in the online dating scene for awhile now, understand that there are many fish in the sea. You might as well find out, and then move on. That is why I recently asked Blue Eyes, a guy who I liked, "are we on, or are you just not into me?"

LINKS TO RELATED ARTICLES
Book Review: He's Just not That Into You
Mr. Big and Other Pseudonyms

LINK TO THE BOOK
He's Just Not That Into You : The...
Breaking Hearts: The Two Sides of Unrequited Love...

Top 5 hot Halloween costumes for singles

Some last minute ideas from our friends at Match.com
Sara Kinnarney
When you were a kid, Halloween was easy. Throw a sheet over your head, and you're a ghost. Tie a bandana on a stick, and you're a hobo. The costume was secondary to the real purpose of Halloween: amassing as much candy as humanly possibly.
But these days, your Halloween costume has more a sophisticated function. It needs to show your spirit and sense of fun. It needs to be a catalyst for sparkling conversation. And it needs to make you look cute.

Where to start? Check out our predictions for the hottest costumes this year:

5. Corporate crooks. From audacious accountants to crooked CEOs to dishonest domestic divas, this has been the year that many men and women of corporate America may have to trade in their pin stripes for jail stripes. The irony will not be lost at many of this years Halloween bashes, where you'll see orange-jumpsuited Martha Stewarts baking cakes with files in them, and tight-lipped suits dragging balls and chains around with their briefcases.

Why it's a great costume: It provides an easy conversation topic — who doesn't love to dish about the fallen titans of commerce and industry?

What it says about you: That you're smart, witty and just a bit edgy. You're concerned about current events, but can still laugh about them.

4. Superheroes. With so many crooks to be captured, it's no wonder that superheroes are more popular than ever. Haunted house walls will be crawling with Web-slinging Spidermen and petite Powerpuff Girls.

Why it's a great costume: Everyone loves a superhero — after all, deep down aren't we all looking for someone to save us?

What it says about you: That you are honest, upright, trustworthy — and aren't afraid to use a jet-propulsioned backpack when the need arises.

3. Real-life heroes. Those who prefer to fight bad guys without the benefit of x-ray vision or superkinetic force fields should take their inspiration from our men and women in uniform — fire fighters, police officers, military personnel.

Why it's a great costume: Uniforms automatically inspire trust and good will — and frequently intense physical attraction.

What it says about you: You're patriotic and hard-working, the strong silent type.

2. Haute hotties. The Sex in the City sirens and the very Versace Venus and Serena Williams have shown that women can be strong and fashionable at the same time.

Why it's a great costume: Remember that fantastic gold lame gown you got at the Prada factory outlet? Now you can actually wear it.

What it says about you: You're polished and sophisticated — a natural born leader. You don't let your guard down and you don't ever let yourself look silly or stupid — even on Halloween.

1. Wizard choices. It's true that Harry Potter and Gandalf are on the wane, but they're still so much fun! With so many groovy goblins prowling the night, this is sure to be the Halloween of love.

Why it's a great costume: Dressing like a mystical mage will make you look like one hot ticket.

What it says about you: That you are fun, flirty and know how to have a good time. And you don't take yourself too seriously!

LINKS TO MENTIONED SITES
Match.com

Book Review: He's Just Not That Into You

Jane Doe
The highly rated HBO series Sex and the City (SATC), lives on in a new dating book worth checking out, especially for us girls who need to stop making excuses for a man's bad behavior. The point of the book appears to be that you should stop the madness before you drive yourself (and any friend who will listen) crazy trying to analyze a guy's every move. Yes, another book that begs us to face the fact that men really aren't that complicated. Are we going to listen this time?

After listening to the girls analyze possible reasons why a man hadn't called back, Carrie's then boyfriend Burger offers his opinion that "he's just not that into you." The story goes that some of the crew from the show were having the same discussion when the token hetereosexual male made the same observation. To each scenario women presented which might explain why a man would "disappear", his answer was the same: "he's just not that into you." So it made it into an episode and then into this book, written with a female colleague to give female counter point of view.

The basic premise of the book is this: "If a sane guy really likes you, there aint' nothing that's gonna get in his way. And if he is not sane, why would you want him." And men aren't giving us mixed messages--we are the ones who are mixed up. By offering up these gems, the intent is to understand that "knowledge is power, and more importantly knowledge saves us time." Less time we waste making excuses for a guy who simply is not interested in us, the more greater our chances of being available when the right guy does come along.

The book is a quick read so when you do find yourself start to make excuses why the guy is not calling, you can whip it out and give yourself a dose of reality. For example: "He's just not that into you if he's not calling you. Men know how to use a phone." and "He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out, because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out."

I had recently sent a note to Blue Eyes, who I had dated a couple of times, but who had gone silent. I offered that if he wasn't that into me that was cool, just let me know. The response I got from him was what the book would describe "the busy excuse" which just a polite rejection, but he did offer that while I was really attractive he didn't feel a romantic connection. So I knew where we stood, and you always need a cute handy guy to have on hand. Some guys aren't as open and just hope that eventually you will get the message and go away. Come to think of it, us girls have been guilty of the same behavior...

The cautionary note I would give is that sometimes there are some reasons that an interested guy can't call--there are still a lot of shy guys out there--but I do like the "you deserve better" approach. In fact, why not buy a few books for your girlfriends. Consider it money well spent so that you can save your girl time for fun activities like shopping and working out, and not talking each other down from another bad relationship.

LINKS
He's Just Not That Into You:...
Sex and the City: Episode 78
Mr. Big and Other Pseudonyms