Some dating advice for the guys from our friends at Match.com
Alan Goldsher, Match.com
You're at a Halloween party. You're standing in the kitchen all by your lonesome because, for whatever reason, you've decided to go stag. You peek around the corner and glace around the room. You see ghosts and goblins, witches and fairies, Batgirls and Supergirls. But — most importantly for a stag-goer such as yourself — you see a dozen, no, several dozen attractive women. You're in the holiday spirit, so you decide it might be a good night to bust a move.
Coupla problems, though:
Problem #1: You're dressed as Richard Nixon. This is not, by any means, an insurmountable predicament — you can just rip off your rubber Tricky Dick mask and show your true face to the world.
Problem #2: You can't come up with a good opening gambit. It's understandable why it might be more difficult than usual to approach somebody in these circumstances; after all, busting that move with a French maid, or a Miss America contestant, or a woman clad in a skin tight cat suit can be disconcerting to say the least.
But we're here to help. Here are 20 salvos that will hopefully open up those October 31st lines of communication:
1. (If she's dressed as a witch) Is that broomstick built for two?
2. (If you're dressed as Dracula) I hope nobody puts a stake in my heart — especially since my heart now belongs to you. (Note: Please, for the love of Bram Stoker, do not say, "I want to suck your blood.")
3. I don't know what's sweeter: This enormous chocolate bar, or your enormous smile.
4. I have a few cool tricks that are total treats.
5. (If you're dressed as Frankenstein) Grrrrrrrrrrrr.
6. I love those miniature jawbreakers. Wanna make out?
7. (If she's dressed as a ghost) Howzabout we take that bed sheet of yours back to my place and put it to its proper use.
8. Can I bob for your apple?
9. (If she's dressed as Little Red Riding Hood) If you give me a taste of what's in your picnic basket, I'll protect you from the Big Bad Wolf.
10. D'ya wanna do the monster mash?
11. (If you're dressed as the Wolfman) You can't imagine what else happens to me during a full moon…
12. I love gumdrops. Wanna make out?
13. I just saw "Halloween X" and you are way hotter than Jamie Lee Curtis.
14. Can I offer you a Hershey's kiss?
15. (If she's dressed as a hula dancer) As it so happens, I know just where I can get you a nice lei.
16. I noticed you've been eating a lot of candy tonight. Would you like me to check you for cavities?
17. Feel free to cuddle up next to me if you get scared when they start telling ghost stories.
18. (If you're dressed as Austin Powers) Do I make you horny, baby? (Yeah, that's totally obvious, but sometimes obviousness isn't necessarily a bad thing.)
19. I love candy corn. Wanna make out?
20. Trick or treat. Feel the beat. Give me something good to eat.
LINKS TO MENTIONED SITES
Match.com
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