CONNECT is a checklist of features to look for when determining if an online dating site is right for you. CONNECT stands for Compatibility, Options, Numbers, Navigation, Expense, Community and Technology. Some sites rate higher in some categories than others, but knowing what features are important to you, and how sites rate go a long way to help you make an informed choice.
OPTIONS
All dating sites capture some personal information about its members and will include a mail feature to allow you exchange messages with other members. A really good website will include features that help you find and interact with other members, and the best ones have multiple features to help improve your networking. Good options include:
Search Features: many sites will allow you to do basic searching; the better ones, like MatchMaker will allow you to search on multiple characteristics. Even better is Match.com and eHarmony which search based on compatibility profiles. Some sites like Kiss.com will allow you to define the geography and demographics (age) of your dating world, so that you only see those who are of interest to you.
Profiles: building on the concept of the “personals ad”, the better websites offer members the opportunity to express their personality. Space devoted to expressing opinions goes beyond the general interest checklists that the database generates and is a very effective way to help determine your interest in another individual, and to tell others more about you. It can be challenging to come up with a creative “story” about yourself, but great sites like MatchMaker does a great job helping members with this task by offering an interview format. Members simply answer questions on topics ranging from dreams and goals to their favorite toy growing up.
Like telephone personals, some site also offer members the ability to listen to a short recorded message, which like the profile, gives you a better sense of the person behind a photo and written word.
Photos: to post or not to post a picture is a question of security and comfort to many online daters. It is true that you do get more responses with a picture. Physical appearance, but not necessarily attractiveness does play a part in determining whether you like, trust another person. You do take a risk in posting a picture, most often embarrassment if someone you know sees it, but it is a good advertising tool to let people know who you are. This problem is solved by sites like Lavalife which include a “backstage” area. You have a photo in the database, but control “access” to those members you want to show it to.
If you are concerned about where your online photo may end up, it is good to know that MatchMaker.com for example, helps protect the security of its members by not allowing photos to be copied off of member profiles.
Mail Options: if you are not an active user, you can choose whether you want to receive email notification that you have mail on the site. American Singles will alert you when you have received a message from another member. Match.com will deliver the message directly to your email (your address is blind to the sender)
Diary/Notes: to help you keep notes about members who you have had contact with. You will meet many people online so if you are not good at remembering names or faces, this is a handy tool that goes a long way to keeping track of little details that spark your interest, especially if you lose track of each other.
Blocking: This is an important feature which allows you the ability to block other members from contacting you. It is always a good policy to be upfront and tell someone directly if you are not interested in continuing a conversation with them, but occasionally he or she does not take the hint. This is a handy tool for the over zealous suitor who may need a clear message that no means no.
Instant messaging (IM): a chat feature which allows you talk to other members live as you would in a chat room, but in this environment you have more information about the other person you are talking to in a safer environment. Lavalife has one of the best IM system, and in fact is part of the casual culture of the site since majority of users log on to this site to “chat”, not write letters to other members.
Voice/Video Messaging: Lavalife and Match.com enables you to record a voice greeting, and Dreamdates.com has gone the next step and included voice over IP in its service offering, allowing members to actually talk live to each other over the internet, which is a great feature for women to keep in mind. You can move from writing to talking without revealing your phone number until you are ready to.
Lavalife also offers video conferencing so you can have live conversations with other members who have cameras and microphones. More recently they have introduced mobile text messaging.
Who’s On/Last On: Many of us are becoming programmed to expect immediate feedback in our networking efforts so when we see someone interesting online, we would like to know if there is mutual interest, or we will move on. Designed to enhance your ability to network, a site with features that brings up a list of members currently online and/or a date stamp of when a member has last been online, gives you a sense of how active the site is. This is critical if the only way to get messages is to log on to the site. If there are not many active members on the site, your chances of meeting someone are reduced. After monitoring this over a couple of weeks, you will be able to see who the more active and motivated members are. Combined with a “chat” tool you will be guaranteed of interacting more quickly with more people.
Messages from the Dating Site: Some sites now send messages to members with the profiles of new members, and newsletter with networking and lifestyle tips. The sites are motivated to keep you renewing your membership, but it also helps keep you motivated to continue the search. This is particularly useful if you get busy, the initial excitement of the online experience has worn off, or if you think you have exhausted all the interesting people currently online. Many sites like American Singles, Match.com and Kiss.com will send you an email with a list of new members of the opposite sex have joined, and Kiss.com will take care to note your geographic and specific search criteria to give you a nudge to keep up the search. Lavalife offers a great regular newsletter with dating, relationship and lifestyle tips. This type of feature is a great value add to your online dating membership.
The more discerning you are in your dating, the more attention you will need to pay to what an online site offers you in this category.
LINKS TO MENTIONED SITES:
American Singles
Dream Dates
eHarmony
Kiss.com
Match.com
MatchMaker
Lavalife
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Look for Compatibility in your Dating Site
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