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CONNECT: C is for Compatibility

CONNECT is a checklist of features to look for when determining if an online dating site is right for you. CONNECT stands for Compatibility, Options, Numbers, Navigation, Expense, Community and Technology. Some sites rate higher in some categories than others, but knowing what features are important to you, and how sites rate go a long way to help you make an informed choice.

COMPATIBILITY
The heart of the dating site is the information that it collects. A site's database collects information from you, and from that creates a profile which tells other daters about whoyou are. This is how members determine compatibility of a potential match. Even the most simple site will include location, age, marital status, physical description and sometimes type of work and educational background. Like its predecessor, the personals ad, many sites ask its members to write an ad or profile describing themselves. This allows daters to provide a glimpse into their personality.
You will need to determine how much information you wish to see about another person, and conversely how much information you want to disclose about yourself. These recommendations are name brands, having been in the business since the late 90's.

For the Casual Dater
The Y Generation has taken to online dating as a natural extension of the use for internet. Exploring their independence, they want to meet as many people as they can. Many dating sites don't require a lot of information in order to generate a profile, which makes it a great option for this type of dater. If you are in the market to just meet people, you are likely only interested in the same criteria that exists in the bar scene. An advantage over the bar scene is that if you spot a hottie, you have his/her number (profile name).

The following sites sport the basics for casual daters, and their search engines and large memberships provide lots of variety and inter-action for the casual dater. If you are looking for a relationship you can still frequent these types of sites, but the onus is on you to collect more information through email contact.

Lavalife is a Canadian success story which scores high in many of our CONNECT categories. It collects the bare minimum data about daters including and is the only site which segments members into distinct sections: dating, relationships and intimate. Its strength is the volume of daters and a good Instant Messenging (IM) feature. Most members on this site will IM each other before email.
American SinglesA well established company, MatchNet segments sites by geographic location, with MatchNet sites in Europe, American Singles in the US, Date.ca in Canada.

For Experienced Daters
Older, more experienced daters are more selective about who they meet, and if the goal is a committed relationship or marriage, more information up front helps in the selection process.
To serve this audience some sites have invested the time and technology to understand what singles are looking for in desirable mates, beyond physical attributes and economic standing. While answering dozens of questions when you register for some sites can seem tedious, it does provide help build a better representation of who you are, and in return you get a much better idea of who potential matches are.
eHarmony--The most extensive questionnaire belongs to eHarmony, a site which claims to have developed a scientifically proven way to improve compatibility matches. Dr. Neil Clark Warren, eHarmony's founder developed 29 dimensions that create compatibility and play a key role in the most successful relationships. Falling in love with a more compatible mate results in longer happier marriages. This site has been featured on Oprah and Joe Average, Adam Returns.

Match.com--Match has layers of matching for its members. Like other site, it collects general information from the user and a profile is segmented into separate pages: Basic, Appearance, Interests, Lifestyle, Background/Values, About my Date. The site offers one way matching for the casual dater, and their Total Attraction Dating allows more serious daters to take additional Ph.D designed tests on personality and physical attraction. This information is then becomes part of the search criteria, seeking out compatible mates for its members.

A Word About Niches
Compatility also means that you are meeting others like you. Critical mass on the internet now means that other sites have attracted large numbers of members in more categories
Community Connect has 15 million members worldwide, offering a great online community for three ethnic groups:
Black Planet
MiGente
Asian Avenue

MatchNet, in addition to its geographic based sites, also offers
Silver Singles for the older dater
CollegeLuv specifically for the collegiate crowd
JCate.com for jewish singles
Glimpse for the gay and lesbian community.

The more discerning you are in your dating, the more attention you will need to pay to what an online site offers you in this category.

LINKS TO OTHER MENTIONED SITES:
American Singles
Date.ca
eHarmony
Match.com
Lavalife

RELATED ARTICLES
CONNECT to your Dating Experience
Look for Options in an Online Site
Finding Love in a Crowd: Numbers
Whats Good in a Profile?

Choosing A Dating Site? CONNECT

So you want to give this whole online dating trend a try, but there are thousands of sites out there, so how do you pick the right one for you?

The CONNECT Rating Criteria
CONNECT is a checklist of features to look for when determining if an online dating site is right for you. CONNECT stands for Compatibility, Options, Numbers, Navigation, Expense, Community and Technology. Some sites rate higher in some categories than others, but knowing what features are important to you, and how sites rate go a long way to helping you make an informed choice. I have rated more sites that I care to remember will soon be able to offer a link so you can search and add your own feedback on what has worked for you. You still need to be clear about your objectives, which we have covered earlier.

We will explore each of these features in more depth, as well as the sites which score the biggest points in each category.

RELATED ARTICLES
Look for Compatibility in your Dating Site
Look for Options in an Online Site
Finding Love in a Crowd: Numbers
Whats Good in a Profile?

Choosing a Dating Site: Know What you Want

Making connections online has now become a mainstream multi-million dollar industry as thousands of people everyday are realizing that the internet is quickly becoming just another way to meet people. If you are not sure about why you would meet someone online, check out some good reasons here. Normal, well-adjusted single men and women who happen to be single are using the Internet more than ever to find companionship, but where are they meeting? A good strategy for selecting the best site for you is approach it in the same manner as you shop for a major purchase. This is your life afterall, and you should be clear about what you are looking for.

1. Know what you are looking for
Don't sign up for a site without thinking about what you are looking for. To enjoy your time online, you really should be clear about your objective: friendship, casual sex, dating, committed relationship or marriage. In my experience people are far happier when they are honest about what they want, and chose sites that cater to those needs. Dating sites range from those serving members looking for quick casual connections to those who are more serious about finding marriage partners. A great site, like Lavalife, help keep daters grouped by their dating, relationship or intimate needs. If you are looking for marriage you should also think about whether you are willing to move, since you could quite easily find yourself falling in love with someone who lives 3,000 miles away.

2. Be sure that you actually want to meet someone
A common complaint among online daters is the occasional encounter with someone who is simply interested in email communication. Be considerate to those who are using these sites as they are intended, as a way to meet people. If you just want an email pal, a dating site really is not the place for you. The same goes for honesty. You shouldn't disclose too much personal information, but it should be accurate. For example, posting a photo that is 15 years old isn't exactly the truth, and is not particularly well received when you actually meet.

3. Be prepared to make a minimal investment
Be prepared to make some investment of money in your online dating site. How much will depend on what services you are looking for. A "free" site is not recommended for a couple of reasons. There has been much press about the dangers of chat rooms, which are free forums where no one really can closely monitor good and bad behavior. When you have to pay for services, it does tend to filter out those who do not wish to be identified. Having to pay for access to a web site also indicates some commitment to actually meeting other people.

4. Choose a name brand
There are close to a thousand online dating sites on the market with many start-ups all competing for your dollars. If you are new to online dating you are best to stick with the name brands. They know their business, and most importantly their reputation and marketing efforts will attract the volume of daters you are looking for.

Coming up: Specific web sites and what they have to offer the online dater.